We haven’t done a top nine list in a while, so I decided to do two. Inspired by a couple of reader comments, some that I honestly felt misconstrued my message, I contemplated BMW as a competitor to Saab or any other favorite automotive brand. So, here’s my top nine run down of what I envy about Bimmer and what I don’t envy about their company and automobiles.
(Please, save the “Saab doesn’t compete with BMW” rhetoric because they do. BMW may not be aligned as closely as other brands to compete with Saab automobiles, but they are a competitor.)
Top Nine things that I envy about BMW
9. Their presence in motor sport. BMW has a significant technical and financial stake in several forms of auto racing — rally, open-wheel racing, road racing and club motor sports such as SCCA, etc.
8. The dual-roof 5-series sport wagon of the middle 1990′s. Quite simply the coolest, most sporting wagon since the retractable-roofed Studebaker Wagonaire of the 1960′s. If the Saab Sport Combis came equipped with a gaping open roof like this, I’d buy it. Why? It’s the ultimate hauler combined with the panoramic view of a convertible. What a great mix of practicality and motoring fun.
If the 9-5 Wagon had a roof like this, I'd buy it
7. Tuning partners. BMW has upgrade and aftermarket parts available from a number of outlets in virtually any location in the world. The options are myriad here in the United States where Saab really hasn’t any real infrastructure for mods.
6. Precision. I grudgingly admit that in the last decade or so, the Bavarians have surpassed virtually all other automakers when it comes to manufacturing execution and automation. This is NOT a Germany vs. the world issue; a great number of BMW automobiles are built in Greer, South Carolina, USA and they are still of very, very high quality. Bimmers are made with close tolerances because they’ve instituted a culture of uncompromising standards. The culture has served them well.
5. 1968-1975 2002. What an iconic car! Believe it or not, the 2002 was based upon a design at least four years old when introduced, but the refinements found in the 2002 made all the difference. Boxy and upright, the BMW 2002 certainly wasn’t intended to be a looker, but somehow it became one. Its unique departure created a design following that has endured for years. Good on them.
The BMW 2002 is a timeless classic.
4. Design margin. Say what you will about some aspects of modern BMWs and their lack of room for error, but the engineers in Munich have retained many of the important standards that brought them to the fore in the automotive world — oversized brakes, fewer lock-to-lock turns, bullet-proof transmissions and power plants that leisurely exceed the requirements of typical point A-to-point B transportation.
3. The 1971-1975 3.0 CS/CSi (aka E9). One of the all-time great automobiles ever made on a production line, the 3.0 CS created a new class of cars that proved that the Germans had plenty of artistic talent to pair with their engineering prowess. The father of the modern European sedan in so many ways. The BMW 3.0 CS is one of my all-time favorites.
BMW 3.0 CS, one of my all-time faves.
2. Reputation. I am very jealous of BMW’s reputation for quality and performance. I envy the rapport and devotion that Bimmer enjoys with the automotive journalistic community, and I know that Saab’s sales and marketing team covets BMW’s reputation in the market as a car for people with aspirations of driving the best car that they can afford.
1. Independence. I know that I’m pandering to this crowd with this statement, but do envy BMW’s autonomy and independence to create the cars they want to create without a care about what any corporate giant like GM thinks. It’s a luxury that we Saabisti don’t have.
Top nine things that I don’t envy about BMW
9. The cost of maintenance. I’ll predict that some of you will comment that Saab maintenance costs a lot, too, or that BMW isn’t really that costly in the long run, etc. Fine. Parts and service are still too expensive even if those things are true. That is, if Saab is truly in the Bimmer range for maintenance costs, Saab is too expensive as well.
8. The BMW Dealer network. I’m not enamored of Cadillac-HUMMER-Saab dealer combinations, either, but the BMW dealer network is pretty compact and has the elitist reputation that can be a barrier to some prospective customers. Saab has a history of inviting, neighborly dealers. Even though the “old-school Saab” dealers could be going the way of the dinosaur, it doesn’t change the fact the BMW’s dealers are even less accommodating in comparison.
7. Mini. I don’t dislike Mini and the revival of the Cooper. In fact, I think that it’s a great concept and it’s well executed. I simply don’t feel any jealousy because Saab doesn’t have a similar line of tiny cars.
6. Advertising. We’ve all taken shots at Saab’s “Born from Jets” advertising that said little about the cars and leven less about the experience of driving a Saab. On the other hand, have you seen the most recent BMW ads here in North America? A car driving on a magically suspended and dramatically banked glass track? Huh? What does that say about anything automotive? And in the interest of good taste, I’ll not mention those ridiculous billboards featuring the Mini Clubman. Ouch.
Click here for video
5. The X6 Sports Activity Coupe. How could anyone look at this vehicle and think, “Yes, I want the sporting practicality of an SUV, but I want to seriously curtail the cargo capacity for the sake of a swoopy rear roofline.” Perhaps even more vain than the Hummer H2, and that’s saying something.
The BMW X6, perhaps more vain than the HUMMER H2
4. BMW Sailing. Yes, there really is a BMW sailing team. I guess that it’s a marketing boondoggle of sorts. I’m very happy that Saab hasn’t seen the need to sponsor an America’s Cup yacht.
3. Price. Let’s face facts: BMW’s are expensive cars. One can argue that Saabs aren’t cheap, but they are still not as pricy as BMW, and even if they were on par, I wouldn’t like Bimmer pricing any better — it would still be too high.
2. Reputation. (Waits for wheels to turn.) That’s right, I envy and then I don’t envy BMW’s reputation. The part of Bimmer’s rep that I wouldn’t want for Saab? The part that comes from years of stereotypes about Bimmer drivers and the machanics that fix them. Like it or not, BMW has a hallowed place as the conveyance of the rich and vacant, the chariot of the heartless corporate raider and the car of the snotty spoiled brat from Beverly Hills. The mechanics are said to equally take full advantage of these same characters, raking their wallet whenever the car needs so much as an air filter. These are connotations that I, frankly, am glad that do not fetter Saab.
1. Styling. With the exceptions of the aforementioned 2002 and 3.0 CS, I think that BMW’s are generally ugly. Certainly the Z3 and Z4 have their moments, and I think that the 1990′s 5-series sedans and 7-series coupes were good-looking cars, but the rest, especially the Bimmers of the last ten years, have been unattractive. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the front fascia of the newer 3-series cars resembles a stylized female pig. I also find it very strange that other car makers tend to copy certain elements of the BMW style “language” in their own models: the Acura TL is a great example. I wouldn’t want any other marque so closely following Saab, that’s for sure.
The 2007 Acura TL looks a lot like a Bimmer.
So there you have it, my dual top-nine list. Comments are open.
)