We haven’t done a top nine list in a while, so I decided to do two. Inspired by a couple of reader comments, some that I honestly felt misconstrued my message, I contemplated BMW as a competitor to Saab or any other favorite automotive brand. So, here’s my top nine run down of what I envy about Bimmer and what I don’t envy about their company and automobiles.
(Please, save the “Saab doesn’t compete with BMW” rhetoric because they do. BMW may not be aligned as closely as other brands to compete with Saab automobiles, but they are a competitor.)
Top Nine things that I envy about BMW
9. Their presence in motor sport. BMW has a significant technical and financial stake in several forms of auto racing — rally, open-wheel racing, road racing and club motor sports such as SCCA, etc.
8. The dual-roof 5-series sport wagon of the middle 1990’s. Quite simply the coolest, most sporting wagon since the retractable-roofed Studebaker Wagonaire of the 1960’s. If the Saab Sport Combis came equipped with a gaping open roof like this, I’d buy it. Why? It’s the ultimate hauler combined with the panoramic view of a convertible. What a great mix of practicality and motoring fun.
If the 9-5 Wagon had a roof like this, I'd buy it
7. Tuning partners. BMW has upgrade and aftermarket parts available from a number of outlets in virtually any location in the world. The options are myriad here in the United States where Saab really hasn’t any real infrastructure for mods.
6. Precision. I grudgingly admit that in the last decade or so, the Bavarians have surpassed virtually all other automakers when it comes to manufacturing execution and automation. This is NOT a Germany vs. the world issue; a great number of BMW automobiles are built in Greer, South Carolina, USA and they are still of very, very high quality. Bimmers are made with close tolerances because they’ve instituted a culture of uncompromising standards. The culture has served them well.
5. 1968-1975 2002. What an iconic car! Believe it or not, the 2002 was based upon a design at least four years old when introduced, but the refinements found in the 2002 made all the difference. Boxy and upright, the BMW 2002 certainly wasn’t intended to be a looker, but somehow it became one. Its unique departure created a design following that has endured for years. Good on them.
The BMW 2002 is a timeless classic.
4. Design margin. Say what you will about some aspects of modern BMWs and their lack of room for error, but the engineers in Munich have retained many of the important standards that brought them to the fore in the automotive world — oversized brakes, fewer lock-to-lock turns, bullet-proof transmissions and power plants that leisurely exceed the requirements of typical point A-to-point B transportation.
3. The 1971-1975 3.0 CS/CSi (aka E9). One of the all-time great automobiles ever made on a production line, the 3.0 CS created a new class of cars that proved that the Germans had plenty of artistic talent to pair with their engineering prowess. The father of the modern European sedan in so many ways. The BMW 3.0 CS is one of my all-time favorites.
BMW 3.0 CS, one of my all-time faves.
2. Reputation. I am very jealous of BMW’s reputation for quality and performance. I envy the rapport and devotion that Bimmer enjoys with the automotive journalistic community, and I know that Saab’s sales and marketing team covets BMW’s reputation in the market as a car for people with aspirations of driving the best car that they can afford.
1. Independence. I know that I’m pandering to this crowd with this statement, but do envy BMW’s autonomy and independence to create the cars they want to create without a care about what any corporate giant like GM thinks. It’s a luxury that we Saabisti don’t have.
Top nine things that I don’t envy about BMW
9. The cost of maintenance. I’ll predict that some of you will comment that Saab maintenance costs a lot, too, or that BMW isn’t really that costly in the long run, etc. Fine. Parts and service are still too expensive even if those things are true. That is, if Saab is truly in the Bimmer range for maintenance costs, Saab is too expensive as well.
8. The BMW Dealer network. I’m not enamored of Cadillac-HUMMER-Saab dealer combinations, either, but the BMW dealer network is pretty compact and has the elitist reputation that can be a barrier to some prospective customers. Saab has a history of inviting, neighborly dealers. Even though the “old-school Saab” dealers could be going the way of the dinosaur, it doesn’t change the fact the BMW’s dealers are even less accommodating in comparison.
7. Mini. I don’t dislike Mini and the revival of the Cooper. In fact, I think that it’s a great concept and it’s well executed. I simply don’t feel any jealousy because Saab doesn’t have a similar line of tiny cars.
6. Advertising. We’ve all taken shots at Saab’s “Born from Jets” advertising that said little about the cars and leven less about the experience of driving a Saab. On the other hand, have you seen the most recent BMW ads here in North America? A car driving on a magically suspended and dramatically banked glass track? Huh? What does that say about anything automotive? And in the interest of good taste, I’ll not mention those ridiculous billboards featuring the Mini Clubman. Ouch.
5. The X6 Sports Activity Coupe. How could anyone look at this vehicle and think, “Yes, I want the sporting practicality of an SUV, but I want to seriously curtail the cargo capacity for the sake of a swoopy rear roofline.” Perhaps even more vain than the Hummer H2, and that’s saying something.
The BMW X6, perhaps more vain than the HUMMER H2
4. BMW Sailing. Yes, there really is a BMW sailing team. I guess that it’s a marketing boondoggle of sorts. I’m very happy that Saab hasn’t seen the need to sponsor an America’s Cup yacht.
3. Price. Let’s face facts: BMW’s are expensive cars. One can argue that Saabs aren’t cheap, but they are still not as pricy as BMW, and even if they were on par, I wouldn’t like Bimmer pricing any better — it would still be too high.
2. Reputation. (Waits for wheels to turn.) That’s right, I envy and then I don’t envy BMW’s reputation. The part of Bimmer’s rep that I wouldn’t want for Saab? The part that comes from years of stereotypes about Bimmer drivers and the machanics that fix them. Like it or not, BMW has a hallowed place as the conveyance of the rich and vacant, the chariot of the heartless corporate raider and the car of the snotty spoiled brat from Beverly Hills. The mechanics are said to equally take full advantage of these same characters, raking their wallet whenever the car needs so much as an air filter. These are connotations that I, frankly, am glad that do not fetter Saab.
1. Styling. With the exceptions of the aforementioned 2002 and 3.0 CS, I think that BMW’s are generally ugly. Certainly the Z3 and Z4 have their moments, and I think that the 1990’s 5-series sedans and 7-series coupes were good-looking cars, but the rest, especially the Bimmers of the last ten years, have been unattractive. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the front fascia of the newer 3-series cars resembles a stylized female pig. I also find it very strange that other car makers tend to copy certain elements of the BMW style “language” in their own models: the Acura TL is a great example. I wouldn’t want any other marque so closely following Saab, that’s for sure.
The 2007 Acura TL looks a lot like a Bimmer.
So there you have it, my dual top-nine list. Comments are open.
15 responses so far ↓
1 Jeff
// Nov 2, 2008 at 1:40 pm
The Z4’s only good moment is when it ends up in the crusher. The thing looks pre-crashed.
I never liked the way the E9 looked. It looks like they tried to lean it forwards and backwards at the same time.
2 Richo
// Nov 2, 2008 at 1:46 pm
yep, all fair comments… may i add?
6. Advertising
It’s not just BMW advertising, it’s US advertising! Stoopid, boring, and ohhh soooo dramatic. What’s with you Seppos? Even kids toys ads are so over done
How would an Ocker like you have any idea? EnG
5. The X6 Sports Activity Coupe.
you got that right, and it only has 4 seats!!! Dumb ain’t even close.
3. Price
Mmmmm, well after talking about quality, reliability, and finesse it’s hard to complain about a few extra thousand isn’t it?
1. Styling
This ain’t ugly, it’s sex on wheels.
Sorry, ugly as a bashed crab. Take Ms. Piggy, please! EnG
3 Alex
// Nov 2, 2008 at 2:38 pm
8. Elitist and off-putting dealerships? You’ll find people who will call any dealership “elitist”, but BMW really has their brand image down pat. When you walk up to one of their dealerships, you really feel like you’re about to drive something really special, something that’s most definitely not for everyone. I wish that GM did more to help give Saab dealerships that same feeling of importance, those BMW dealerships really leave quite a first impression compared to some of the hole-in-the-wall Saab dealerships around here.
4. As an avid sailor, I actually like BMW’s investment in the oracle team, especially since Larry Ellison provides the bulk of the funding for that outfit so I have a hard time believing that BMW spends more than $10 million a year on that side project. Chump change for a company like BMW. Especially given BMW’s appeal with the yacht club demographic.
Remember, even post-Ford Volvo still has the naming rights for the Whitbread and as a sailor my respect for the brand did increase because of what’s now called the Volvo Ocean Race. Volvo’s also pretty popular with the yacht club demographic around here.
Know who else was popular with the yacht club demographic in the Northeast? Saab. Saabs used to be the ultimate WASP and Brahmin mobiles up here. Some might be turned off by that kind of association but part of what drew me to the brand was it’s New England snobby brand message of “I could afford to be seen in a Mercedes but I don’t because I don’t need to flash my money like some classless nouveau-riche”. Saab would to well to get a bit of that image back.
1. Design, Sixten Sason designed some beautiful cars, but he also designed some pretty homely looking ones. BMW has built some of the most stunning cars ever seen in their respective price brackets Sure Bangle’s done a whole lot of damage to the brand, but it isn’t any worse than the 2008 9-3’s “fast and the furious”, oh I mean “Scandinavian ice” taillights.
I also think that the Acura TL cribbed the 9-5 pretty librally, just look at the two side-by-side and you’ll see what I mean.
4 MJL
// Nov 2, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Great list; I feel the same kind of envy/hatred combo for BMW. Quick note: BMWs are made/designed in Munich; it’s Mercedes that does its work in Stuttgart.
Thanks, and duly noted and repaired. EnG
5 swade
// Nov 2, 2008 at 7:38 pm
You nailed it with independance IMHO.
They found a formula that people like and in this time when the motoring market has truly matured, they’ve been strong enough to do what they do best and sell them by the bucketload.
I hate them for it, but you’ve gotta admire it, too.
6 Andy Rupert
// Nov 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm
#10. Trees tend to fall on them for no reason.
7 Bernard
// Nov 2, 2008 at 11:45 pm
BMW precission is more a product of their marketing department than their engineering department. There are few things as sad as BMW’s “biodegradable” wiring loom, or doors that sound sturdy but have hinges that wear out prematurely.
8 MarkS
// Nov 2, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Who gives a rip about the BMW 2002 when you have the Saab 99 for comparison??
9 Richo
// Nov 3, 2008 at 11:26 am
“Sorry, ugly as a bashed crab. Take Ms. Piggy, please! EnG”
hahahahahahahaha, uh huh.
10 Paul Humpage
// Nov 3, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Yep, Richo. Bashed crab with a touch of turd. There’s only ever been one good looking BMW and we all know what that is:>)
11 PT
// Nov 3, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Nice post EnG. I’d have to agree with you on most of those too. A couple of points to add:
My wife ( who loathes BMWs but admits they are great to drive) claims that BMW stands for Bachelors Mistresses & Wankers.
That picture looks a lot like a Turbo X to me. Seriously. Check the exhausts for starters.
The biggest issue I have these days is that BMW are definitely seen as luxury items first and foremost. To me they are all about being great to drive and that is what separates them from Lexus & MB for example. This seems to get lost in the advertising glitz which is a shame. The reasons the company has risen to its current heights is mostly the same reason we all love Saab - great cars.
12 Nate 9-3
// Nov 4, 2008 at 2:39 am
I love them, I hate them…sounds like a lot of you feel the same. They are a dime a dozen which turns me off to them. Several people who drive them get an instant arrogance. It’s all the more enjoyable when I pass them on the highway and leave them in the rearview mirror
13 James
// Nov 4, 2008 at 2:56 am
How the E30 M3 didn’t make it onto the first list is befuddling. Best 80’s car ever.
14 PGAero
// Nov 4, 2008 at 3:15 am
PT,
That Acura TL came out in what, 2004? So, who’s copying who? Put that profile next to an e36 (3-series ‘92-’98), e46 (3-series ‘99-’06?), e39 (5-series ‘98-’04?) and you’ll see what Eggs is talking about.
And James, I agree with you completely. Best handling car I’ve driven is the e30 M3. An SPG/Aero might be faster in a straight line (although I bet the Bimmer would keep up), a properly set up e30 (i.e. M3) is magical. Then again, that was before BMWs had luxurious pretenses… and weight. I haven’t driven my dad’s 89 M3 in way too long. Gotta hit it again.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. The best and worst thing about my e30s were that they were BMWs. Great because of how they handled, and terrible because of the assumptions people made about me. One guy called me a spoiled prick to my face… after he had just explained that his stereo cost $5000… which happened to be more than my entire car (He obviously didn’t know how much my car cost). In fact, the only people who ever seemed to give me a hard time about my car had spent a bunch more for their own… Then again, I drive my car precisely because I don’t care what people think of it or me. I got over driving a BMW pretty quickly… and pretty easily whenever I was actually driving it.
Funny, now I drive a 9000 Aero (A what? Most people ask.) and I RIDE a BMW. ‘94 R1100RS.
~Peter
15 Teddy
// Nov 8, 2008 at 5:03 am
Very Interesting in the past I have owned BMW’s and though they were nice, I have owned two SAABS back to back a 2006 SAAB 9-3 AERO Sedan and currently a 2008 SAAB AERO Convertible and I must say they have been some of the most enjoyable cars I have owned. I love driving them long distances and also love the looks I get because of the rarity of them on the roads here (Atlanta,GA.) When I purchased the vehicle I lived in Michigan and they were very popular there sort of the same way BMW is popular here in GA. I have to admit BMW has done a much better job than SAAB has of spreading it’s message here in the south but when dealers or the manufacturer don’t do any advertising of any sort it just makes you wonder what is the future of the brand but when people see my car they are quite curious and I always have questions about what kind is it do I like it etc. I also have to admit I have not been crazy about the dealerships in this area just not quite what I expected. The only thing that would probably push me to another brand when it is time to get a new car is the service from the dealership and I probably would get a Mercedes.
BTW…I find it also amusing that in Europe you can get 18. in wheels for the AERO that are not available in the states and the dealers also can offer HIRSCH edition SAAB’S that are not available here, I would love to have factory apporved tuner modifications I do can do to my car without voiding the factory warranty…That AMG CLS is looking real sexy right about now..
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