Thankyou, Captain Obvious!
Nothing Saab-related here, just too good not to share from a bloggers point of view.
I love Automotive News.
They’ve got more sources and reporters in more places than any other single automotive news source. That means they get a lot of news before other people, but it also means they can indulge a bit in some wonderful old-school pomposity. You know, the way some authoritative sources act like they’re reporting it first, even if they aren’t.
News about Chevrolet’s new compact vehicle, the Cruze, has been doing the rounds for some time now. It’ll be showing at Paris later this year, will go on sale in Europe early in 2009 and will hit the US market in 2010. This is not news, unless you’re at Automotive News, where they have a big bold headline leading today’s online edition:
Chevrolet’s new compact car to be called the Cruze
Come on. There’s been photos around with the name attached already.
That’s one thing that got me started this morning. The other is the second line of that particular AN story about the Cruze. Sometimes, a person’s capacity to state the freaking obvious makes me laugh out loud.
Back in 2004, I was driving through the Canadian Rockies with my family and we stopped at some touristy place, and ended up watching a video on bears. I’m fascinated with bears. Anyway, the video was talking about different bear behaviours and the bit that made me laugh was when they were talking about defensive and offensive confrontations (attacks).
The bear might growl a bit and stamp its feet and if you make yourself prone it might sniff around you and give you a good telling off for coming into its territory. That’s a defensive attack (pardon the oxymoron). Then the narrator went on to inform us “If the bear starts to bite and eat you, it’s no longer a defensive attack…..”
Well thankyou, Captain Obvious!!!
It’s in the same vein that I bestow the inaugural Trollhattan Saab Captain Obvious award to Nancy Libby from General Motors.
In talking about the Chevrolet Cruze today, Nancy enlightened us all with the following:
“The name is a derivative of the word cruise….”
Thanks Nancy, you’ve made my morning.
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LOL! Good stuff.
And what she meant was “If we had spelled ‘cruise’ correctly, we’d be unable to protect the word. But by misspelling it, we’ve created new intellectual property that’s obviously worthy of the government protection afforded to trade marks.” Ugh…
What’s next? “Saab, the only trubo-charged™ automobiles in the world.”
The Church of Scientology’s team of attorneys would have come after GM if they had called it the Cruise.
The Cruze is on the Delta 2 platform, and romoured to be introduced with a 1.4l turbo engine, doesn’t this then give us clues to the next 9-3?
”Nothing Saab-related here…”.
Except that’s the internals of your 2012 Saab 9-3 SS you see, sort of.
…
The Captain Obvious stuff is for those (us ?) , who need an opening handle within the trunk (after having locked ourselves in…)
So what IS the “Chevrolet Cruze”?
Ah. An Astra-derived replacement for the Chevrolet Lacetti. Which used to be the Daewoo Lacetti, until GM Europe figured out that people had twigged that Daewoos were awful, awful, awful and rebadged ‘em with “GM’s Global Value Brand”
So it’s a pikey-spec, badly built, down-market heap for idiots who haven’t figured out that new cars are poor value compared to used ones…
Daewoo’s aka. as Chevrolets are selling like crazy in Europe. At the moment, they are saving GMs North American a**.
You couldn’t pay me to drive this thing:
http://www.edmunds.com/media/2001/tokyomotorshow/chevrolet_cruze/chevy.cruze.f3-4.500.jpg
For God’s sake, we need the 9-1!!!!!!!!
The Cruze will fail. It’s simply not good enough to face down the Fit, the Prius, etc.
About bears: I, too, am very much in awe of them. Think about this: An adult bear is 800+ lbs. (360+ kg) and yet they are agile enough to snatch fish from a swiftly flowing stream. That’s impressive to me.
About bears:
I guess many of you already have seen this old Finnish Saab ad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmULPeSmXAI
Riku: That’s new to me!! I’m gonna post it, thanks for the link!!
the cruze looks like a convenient vehicle for those who want to travel back to the 1980’s.
About bears: This is an oldie, but a goodie… Two guys are in the woods when a big bear comes charging out at them. As the second guys sprints past, the first guy yells out “Don’t you know you can’t outrun a bear?” After which the second guy says “I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun YOU!”