My time in the Hummer H3
I bet you didn’t think a quick review of the Hummer H3 would be the first full-on story from my weekend’s driving at GM’s proving grounds at Lang Lang, here in Australia.
But it is, primarily because I’ve come back with the flu and this one will be a quick one to write.
Let’s start with 1,000 words, shall we?
We started the day with this, which I actually resisted photographing for five full minutes before finally giving in. This is Saab Australia’s grand poobah, Parveen Batish arriving at this Saab test drive in a Hummer H3. OK, the official name of the department he presides over is actually GM Premium Brands and it includes Saab, Hummer and Cadillac, by why let a few facts get in the way of a good story? It should also be mentioned that his private vehicle is a 9-5 Aero and was being used during the day for one of the tests at the event.
Not only did he arrive in a Hummer (amusing enough, some might say), he was also detained in the Hummer at the front gate. The facility is so secure that a brand director can’t get through if the number plate of the car he’s in isn’t on the permit list with the security guy.
——
So, to my (brief) time in (passenger seat of) the Hummer H3…..
The Hummer H3 is an overbearing, underpowered, small-on-the-inside and gargantuan-on-the-outside box of bolts that has absolutely no place on any road whatsoever.
If it looks like Parveen’s struggling to poke his head out of the window in that photo, it’s because he’s probably impossibly cramped inside what can only be described as the anti-Saab. If you pulled the H3 up next to a Toyota Land Cruiser I’m sure that it would look only moderate in size. There’s something about the boxy presence and in-your-face design, however, that lends this car a definite and intrusive presence.
The Porsche 911 has presence. An Aston Martin of any description has presence. The Alfa Romeo 8c Competizione has so much beauty and presence that I just got aroused merely by writing its name.
The Hummer H3 is another thing all together. It’s GM’s best defined and clearest brand for a very good reason - it’s completely single-minded in its design and purpose and it doesn’t give a flying-fox as to whether you care or not. The Hummer brand - talking purely in brand terms - is probably the strongest in the GM stable. It’s stronger than any of its stablemates in the way that Charles Manson is a stronger brand than, say, Rosa Parks. Pardon my blasphemy, but it’s the truth.
All that is why I can write about it with complete immunity as Hummer owners are probably off buffing themselves or something. They’re certainly not reading something.
And the fun of it all is that if they own a Hummer here in Australia right now, then it’s a complete and utter pose with absolutely nothing to back it up. The Hummers here are powered by a five cylinder powerplant that does little to move its considerable bulk whether it be uphill or down.
And that bulk really is considerable. It’s big on the outside, but the problem is that they fill it up with big furnishings on the inside. As a result there’s less room in the front of a H3 than in the Saab 900 from 20 years ago. The shoulders are so high on the car that the windows are tiny, leaving you feeling quite closed-in.
The materials on the inside aren’t memorable. I can say that with confidence as I can’t remember them.
All up, there’s absolutely no reason for the Hummer H3, the smallest of the Hummers, to exist. It’s too small on the inside to justify any purchase price and it’s too small on the outside to justify the Hummer name. With a piddly little five cylinder in that big frame it’s too gutless to do what it looks like it should be able to, but a full-on Hummer can’t be justified by anyone.
——
I should also be noted that the Hummer’s ride isn’t very comfortable, either. It bounces all over the place. I couldn’t take any photos at all whilst sitting in it.
Sitting in a Saab was another matter all together, though. It was obviously stable enough to get this detailed shot of the dashboard, A-pillar and rear view mirror.
Enjoy.
-
More from this category
- Saab vs Audi vs Mercedes vs BMW vs Lexus
- Dancing with the Devil’s half sister - I drive the 2007 Hyundai Tucson
- Dancing with the Devil - I drive the 2009 Cadillac CTS
- My time in the Hummer H3
More from this author
- Saab Hybrid spotted in Netherlands!
- Wednesday Snippets II
- Wednesday Snippets
- Saab Barn Find (sort of) - for sale!
Subscribe to this author
Recent Comments
- Ned on Saab rumours abound….
- Wulf on Saab Hybrid spotted in Netherlands!
- Wayner on Aero-X in alt colors
- Robin M on Saab Hybrid spotted in Netherlands!
- MarkoA on Saab rumours abound….
- Ken H on Wednesday Snippets
- Talonderiel on Wednesday Snippets II
- Joel on Aero-X in alt colors
- MitchbSC on Wednesday Snippets II
- me on Wednesday Snippets II
I concur Sir Swadey… what an absolute POS those hummers are. I thought I was in the back seat of a mini when riding in the back… serious lack of room. That three people can fit comfortably across whilst in the back seat… I seriously think not!
sab
oh… and err… camouflaged camaro hey
Blokes,
you blokes weren’t sitting in the middle of the back seat, rough as your guts after a chicken Korma with extra sauce..
Its so bad that certain GM employee’s even said that they haven’t driven the thing since launch..
cop that GM
a.
BTW.. Camaro doesn’t look much in the flesh but the V6 howling past at 150 up a hill does sound the business.
a.
The H3 has a solid rear axle. That is a pickup truck, blinged out.
Swade,
You are being a bit harsh on the Hummer. It’s a decent offroader, and way more comfortable than an old Land Cruiser.
If you put a lot of power into a real offroader, that just means you will roll-over 100 miles from nowhere (I think that most of Canada and Australia fit that description).
You are reviewing this machine as if it were some kind of bling machine whose only purpose is to lay rubber at the local burger joint (or be driven by the bad guys in a second-rate action movie).
I have an H3 as a loaner at the moment and wish I had my SAAB back! I have 117 miles on the tank and am at 1/4 tank! It’s a joke! I also agree that it has NO POWER! For that mileage, I was expecting it to be fierce! I was shocked…
Love that A-Frame
You could have probably sold that photo to a magazine…
Swade,
You forget the best reason to own a Hummer. They pi** off enviros to no end. Almost worth the purchase price right there.
It is not until I moved to the USA that I realise how small Hummers are - compared to the other gigantic monsters on the road. an H3 is roughly the same size as a Land Cruiser. WHile the raised Ford F450 pickups dwarf both by a LOT of volumn.
From a pure enviroment concern pov, the Hummers are not the worst offenders, it’s just they have this reputation and became a symbol of loath from the ‘green’ side.
I agree with Ying, a H3 is actually a small vehicle when you compared to some of the vehicles I see on my daily commute.
In my opinion the saab executive just lacks decency and style to turn up in a Hummer on an event devoted to TTiD and Turbo-X.
I recon Parveen didit on purpose, just to get Swade into one.
swade- where have all the gravatar/pics things gone?
The H3 is built on the same chassis and engine as the GMC Canyon and Chevy Colorado. My Colorado crew cab was gutless with the original inline 5 that was in the model series.
Yeah, Hummer is a decent off-roader. Anyone who is in one now, especially the H2, wants the hell out due to gas prices.
They had a number of Saabs available on the day as there were four different events on (hence they needed 10 or more cars). Parveen’s own 9-5 was one of those cars being used, and was bought down the previous day, hence his arrival in the Hummer.
The H3 is definitely smaller than some of the stuff out there, but that doesn’t make it small, not by any stretch. I know that in a land where F150s (and their competitors and bigger siblings) have ruled for years that it’ll seem small to some, but it’s still a large proportioned vehicle on the outside with a very cramped interior.
Like I said, there’s really no reason for this vehicle to exist other than as a form of self-expression. Those seeking off-road ability will go for the traditional proven players (which are better off-road - unless they want this as a means of self expression. That goes double when you’re talking about the 5 cylinder petrol engine.
i was in an H2 on Sat and jesus, an X5 next to us looked like a Mini - this thing was seriously HUGE. When I was driving in the states last December (hi relle) the vast majority of cars on the interstate hwy’s were HUGE triple cab monsters - stupidly big.
ps - Parveen, you look like a goose in that thing - and orange to boot!
The H3 is definitly a form of self-expression. I saw one the other day with a young girl driving it. Above the H3 emblem on the side it had a huge 22″ emblem for it’s 22″ rims it had on. The H3 was a fashion accessory for her.
Swade - Most of the full-sized trucks now a days have cramped interiors. Even with a crew cab in the back, they’re still on the small side and you end up getting a 5′ bed in the back(which is pretty darn useless). I think most new trucks lack the utility they once had.
One of my neighbors down the street drives a yellow Hummer….not the H3 but one of it’s much larger and more obnoxious siblings, and every time we meet up I have to steer my 9-3 for the bloody bushes in order to avoid him! Does Hummer have an “a-hole academy” for customers who buy the biggest of the big?? The way this guy drives, you might think so. He definitely gets the most out of that “in your face” design! Perhaps you can tell I’m not a fan of that design aesthetic or of that mentality!!
http://www.fuh2.com/
I don’t mind them if they’re used for offroading, but even then they arent the best. They only get 10mpg as well. Not the best option indeed.
Swade. How fickle you are! This was just a year ago! (Couldn’t resist.)
You should have asked if you could play with one of those Camaros instead.
“Swade has also secretly been courting the Alfa Romeo community” Now consummated, Eggs.
Hummer will either die or be sold. We all know its days are numbered due to high fuel prices. The H3 is good off road terrible on road. You can get the H3 with a V8 300Hp 300ft-lbs torque and a towing capacity of 6000 lbs but I would hate to even think of the lousy milage. Built off the GMC Canyon and Chevy Colorado, its not as big as a full size SUV. If I had to go off road I would get a Jeep, but they get lousy milage too.
Give the H3 SOME credit, it’s MO is offroading and it does that superbly well.
Here in the US, they’ve updated the 5-banger froma 3.5 to a 3.7, helping off-the-line torque a little bit. The big news is we get an optional 5.3L V8 here in the states… well, wait. That’s not big news. No one’s going to buy them with gas at record high prices (for our previously blessed cheap gas market.)
What the H3 needs to make sense - an inline six cylinder turbodiesel with decent power (200-220bhp) and lots o’torque low down (like 400lb-ft or so). And a six-speed with the first four ratios being very short for acceleration and off-roading, and the final two being overdrives for relaxed highway cruising and fuel economy - which are two things the H3 needs. Plus a torquey turbodiesel A) suits the character of a Hummer much better B) is probably better off road, where low-down power is more important than the high-end power the 5-banger makes.
Admittedly, I haven’t DRIVEN an H3. But I’ve driven a GMC Canyon with the five-cylinder. Although the Canyon is considerably lighter, I noticed the same lack of power. The problem is that the five-cylinder makes all it’s power relatively high up in it’s (very limited) rev range. To get that power you have to keep your foot on the pedal for quite a while, and you’re “rewarded” with awful gas mileage for such a slow, gutless truck and a truly nasty, thrashing noise. It makes no sense for a truck! They shouldn’t have gotten rid of the 4.3L Vortec V6, which had a lower peak output of 190bhp but was much stronger on the low end.
While I’m a 5-cylinder fanboy (I’m on my second gas-powered 5-cylinder car, a VW Jetta, which replaced a non-turbo Volvo 854 Sedan), the 5-cylinder in the Canyon/Colorado/H3 is pretty pathetic at what it’s designed to do. Needs to get junked. Give this truck the diesel engine it deserves.
Or better yet, just kill/sell off Hummer. It’s not exactly a great brand to have in the current market.
Is it just me or do those Camaros look like they are posing for a “spy” photo?
Camaros were every were, you would think it was the only car GM are working on. i would say i saw at least 5 testing and about 15 parked in various spots around the site in varying degrees of camo..
a.
…
There were two Camaros just sitting there and you were wasting time in an H3?
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
:p
But seriously, what’s up with that?
Jeff, V8 performance cars are no big deal around here, we make so many we have to rebadge them as Pontiacs and give them to the U.S.
Eh, they’re a big deal to me. I’d kinda like to know Swade’s take on the new Camaruh, it would be interesting.
Well, I’ll agree with Jeff. Never, never a fan of the older Camaros, they were just too obvious, too common. However, this new iteration intrigues me along with the new Dodge Challenger.
Again, the retro craze is everywhere. Could Saab not throw me a bone with a come-back 99/900? Please??
I am a German owner of a HUMMER H3
I never will buy ist again
This car does not work because there are no parts to repair.
This parts we cant find for now 4 month!
159342504 - HARNESS
and
15832370 - HARNESS
email: gasfuzzi@t-online.de