From Robin M. I have a feeling this is being discussed on many an internet site around the world at the moment.

For sale is one slightly hotted up Ford Escort.

It’s on Ebay (now finished).

Did I mention it’s been hotted up just a little:

The real fun starts when you get into the questions being asked by ‘potential’ bidders.

Q: what power (bhp) is it? 22-Jan-08
A: do not know never been on rolling road

Q: Are you sure the car has ABS as it wasnt an option on most 1.6 escorts of this age. More to the point I cannot see the control unit under the bonnet? Please clarify? 21-Jan-08
A: clarify ur an idiot YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: hi, would u b interested in an L reg 1.2 corsa 11 months M.O.T. Would be willing to part with a bit of cash? 20-Jan-08
A: thanks but no thanks

Q: Do you actually work as you seem very quick answering all of these delightful questions about your big white racing car? Or was it paid for by the taxpayer? ie dole money. 18-Jan-08
A: funnily enough so do u lot

Q: Hi just wondered if you would part x-change a mars bar and half a pack of bensons? And i dont know if you realize but someone has graffiti’d your car with strange symbols? 18-Jan-08
A: talk 2 the hand coz the face aint interested

Q: Do you still have the original wheels and seats? I’m not a big fan of the colour blue. 18-Jan-08
A: sorry no

Q: Hi You say in your ad “Buyer Collects In Any Situation And Will Accept Cash On Pick up”. How much cash would you be willing give me as £750 wouldn’t be worth it to me? Thanks 18-Jan-08
A: am i bovverd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: I see that you have been reporting people to the Police to making fun of this beautiful car. Are there any people still walking around Pembrokeshire or are they all now behind bars? Aslo, is the reserve still 7k like it was last year and the year before when you were trying to sell this? 18-Jan-08
A: It’s never had a 7k reserve so where u r getting your facts from coz i wud luv 2 know

Q: As the reserve has not been met and you have not had any bids, if I increased my offer to 6 Dinky Cars, would you consider it? I’m willing to let you choose 6 from my collection of model cars. 18-Jan-08
A: your actually starting to sound quite pathetic now, so go and annoy someone wiv da same level of intelligence as yourself. ever tried talking wiv the barryboys, they may suit your intelligence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: Would you be able to ship the vehicle to Poland by airmail or is it actually a life size car? I would be very interested in swapsies for one of the hot wheels models in my collection. I do believe the escort is very rare and does it come in its original box? 18-Jan-08
A: look if u have no genuine questions or intentions of purchasing this vehicle, then go bore someone that wants to speak to someone wiv very little intelligence. Telling u the truth all u idiots are giving Ebay a bad name. BYE

Q: Hi, I was considering prison as a life choice, any chance you could report me to the police, please? 18-Jan-08
A: very funny, go bore someone who cares

Q: Hi, You say the car has never been smoked in. I’m a smoker and as I’ll have to fit ashtray etc would you accept £739.99? 17-Jan-08
A: dont make me laugh!!!!!!!!!!! but sure if u contact www.barryboys.co.uk they may definately help u out wiv an ashtray or 2

Q: Hi mate liking your motah is the eugsaust loud? 17-Jan-08
A: well yeah its got a 1 off full sports exhaust

Q: Hey, How difficult would it be to return the car to standard? I am looking for a cheap Escort but don’t want one thats modified to this standard - I couldn’t handle all the attention. Thanks. 17-Jan-08
A: well its not 4 u then

Q: I see you are willing to part-exchange, would 4 Dinky Cars be OK? They are small but you might not think they are suitable, since you say your family is growing-up. 17-Jan-08
A: second person 2 b reported 2 the police

Q: Absolute pile of toss. Being discussed here, think we could have a whip round and raise £10 or so to take it off your hands and have it scrapped… http://www.barryboys.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=18648&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=60 Please, come along and discuss your motives! See you there old chap. 17-Jan-08
A: u have just been reported 2 the police

Q: how much is ur reserve thank u 17-Jan-08
A: make us a sensible offer and we will consider it

Q: I don’t like the wing or the stickers. Will they come off ok? 17-Jan-08
A: yeah cant c y not

Q: hi there im intrested in ur car i have a citroen ax 1 litre modified wud u be intrested in a px as i am lookin for a bigger car let me no thanks 17-Jan-08
A: send some pics plz 2 oliverjordan21@hotmail.com and we will take a look and let u know asap