OK, you TrollhattanSaab freaks that can’t get enough and you’ve just got to visit during the Christmas break, here’s something to keep you very busy — maybe not in such a good way.
Here’s a quick display of the Top 9 most ricey Saabs that I have on my hard drive at the moment. For those of you that haven’t heard the term, ‘rice‘ or ‘ricey‘ it is the equivalent of “Barry Boys” in the U.K. That is, a car with overly flashy mods that may or may not have a thing to do with actual performance — mostly just being showy. I must say that some have taken these terms as somewhat pejorative against Asian makes specifically, and I’m certain that’s where the term got its start. However, as one can see in this group of photos, ricey applies in equal measure to all makes, all peoples and all continents.
Frankly, I can’t stand some of these cars — it goes against the purist in me. On the other hand, most of the cars have great elements, they simply went a little too far. Judge for yourself, it’s strictly a personal opinion, so no flame, please!!
Let’s get started, shall we?
Starting with number nine: This 9000 makes the list at number nine because there is reason to expect that there are substantial mods that go along with all of those freakin’ stickers, but their presence certainly makes this car look a bit ridiculous. Courtesy of saabfan.
Number Eight: Well, I guess that the Saab 9-2x is an easy mark in this list because it’s got all of those Subaru WRX aftermarket parts available from folks that really pander to the ricer scene. However, I think that this says it all. From the saab92x.com forum:
Number Seven: I debated this one. Is it ricey over-the-top, or is it simply over-the-top? Certainly, I give this car owner his due — it did take a lot of very hard work with a great deal of skill to make this car what it is. That doesn’t change the fact that it is very flashy. For that, it makes the list. Extra credit for being unable to open the hood and the doors at the same time. From Trollhattansaab archives on Flickr.
Number Six: If the red one makes the list, the black one does, too. This 9-5 makes the list one notch higher due to the blue front lamps (illegal in the US, but obviously not in the UK) and the graphic on the intercooler grille (ostensibly, it’s the intercooler grille, anyway). From Trollhattansaab.net.
Number Five: Aye yi yi!! This Saab 9-3 has two very questionable elements of “style” — the “Dark Lord”-inspired black designs and body kit. Note the headlamp brows. Not a fan. From saabrobz.
Number Four: One certain way to get my goat is to slap a raised plastic wing on the trunk of a perfectly good car. What, do you need a little more downforce there, Mr. Andretti? Taking those corners at 20, 30 mph must really let that rear end float on you without that wing! Oy. This 9-5 comes from saabrobz.
Number Three: Here’s a car with little reason to be other than someone simply had a bad acid flashback when specifying this paint job. I know that a handful of you out there will like the paint and defend it, but for me, this is a perfect example of flash without substance. Underscored by the name given for it: “The Force”. I am not making this up.
Number two: From the “old school” division comes this forsaken Saab 99 that a German dude carved into a life-sized toy car with a LOT of fiberglass. From our friends at Saabfreunde.de, I bring you the world’s only Saab 99 prepped especially for the NASCAR Busch circuit:
And, drum roll, please…..
The number one most ricey Saab on my hard drive comes from ilclod on Flickr.
I rather think that Mr. ilclod nailed this one with his personal description:
An old Saab 9000 sedan pimped up like an awful example of “cannonball car”…Please note the rear spoiler (pretty gross, ain’t it?) and the “bullet hole” stickers along the rear cowling and across the right side of the car. Oh, i rather forgot: the pink seats!…
A commenter pointed out that this vehicle was likely pimped to compete in a for-fun cheap rally event, so I feel better that this mess was created with tongue firmly in cheek. Still, this is the epitome of rice — absolutely no substance, but a lot of stickers and cheesy add ons.
Sadly, i’ve seen worse… Pretty “good” findings though.
Yikes….I’m having trouble keeping hold of my breakfast!!!
i’d totally drive “the force.”
Yup I agree with VVV, sadly, seen worse even right here in my hometown.. (:
..and by the way I would TOTALLY have the Schussler-99!!
Merry Xmas everyone.
Wow, your definition of riced out is way different than mine. I mean, all of these cars are pretty hideous, but had I made this list your number five would have been my numbers one and two. And five. That car is the definition of ricer to me: Horrendous body kit and a stupid-ass paint job. No car on the list is more riced out than that…thing. Number two comes close, but the body kit is so European rally car looking that it just doesn’t piss me off nearly as much. Except for that goofy grille. Number seven would have been higher, too, because scissor doors == fail. Also, didn’t we decide that the black 9-5 was a rendering? If it were real, though, yeah, it would belong on the list.
As for your number one, the spoiler is pretty terrible, but the rest of the add-ons are not so much “ricey” as they are “stupid”.
To me, ricers have to look like they drove straight out of a Fast/Furious movie, with the ridiculous spoilers and the neon paint jobs and the giant exhaust tips and the dumbtastic graphics and the Pac-Man and the hula hoops and the Zima water.
Gotta love the Shüssler-900! It´s a classic. Nowhere near ricey :I Though the front end is not how it used to look on older ads.
I actually like #3. But it would probably look better if each color would flame across into the next color.
Looking at number three made me think of something:
“[T]his is a perfect example of flash without substance”
It HAS substance – it’s a Saab 9000!!!
:p
Number 9 has a fair bit of substance if memory serves correctly. It belongs to a Brit who ran it in a for-fun rally last northern summer. I think there’ll be something about it in the motorsport archive. It doesn’t normally wear all the labels, IIRC and puts out some hefty horses.
I’m a fan of number 6. It’s in character. And I think number 3 would have been my number 1 (though maybe I’m thinking of a redneck countdown)
Eeesh at most of those, and number 6 certainly looks ‘Chopped… however, I’d have to say those aren’t blue lights in the fog light area, but intercooler piping with blue accents.
… does it make me a bad person that I actually like the DTM-looking, wide-body kit on the 99? *cringe*
Oh, and NASCAR would be lucky to have something that good looking in their lineup.